Tag Archives: Parenting

How Empty Nesters Navigate the Transition and Find Renewed Purpose

Posted on by
Reply

It won’t be long now before our last child packs up and heads off to college and begins their own journey into adulthood. Many parents like myself, find themselves facing the bittersweet reality of becoming empty nesters. For some, the newfound quietude and absence of children bustling around the house can evoke a profound sense of loss and loneliness. However, this life stage also presents an opportunity for parents to rediscover themselves, rekindle their passions, and embark on new adventures.

Empty nest syndrome, characterized by feelings of sadness and loss when children leave home, is a common experience for many parents. The sudden shift from a bustling household to an eerily quiet one can leave parents feeling adrift and unsure of how to fill the void. However, experts suggest that acknowledging and embracing these feelings is the first step toward finding fulfillment in this new chapter of life.

“It’s natural for parents to feel a mix of emotions when their children leave home,” says Dr. Sarah Johnson, a psychologist specializing in life transitions. “The key is to view this time as an opportunity for personal growth and exploration rather than focusing solely on the loss.”

One way empty nesters can navigate this transition is by focusing on self-care and rediscovering their interests and passions. Whether it’s picking up a hobby they set aside years ago, pursuing further education, or traveling to destinations they’ve always dreamed of, empty nesters have the freedom to prioritize their own needs and desires.

“For many parents, the empty nest phase can be a time of reconnection with oneself,” says Dr. Johnson. “It’s an opportunity to pursue activities and interests that may have taken a backseat during the busy child-rearing years.”

Beyond individual pursuits, empty nesters can also strengthen their relationships with their partners. With children out of the house, parents have more time to devote to each other and nurture their bond. Planning date nights, taking up a new hobby, strolling the beach together, or simply enjoying quiet evenings at home can help couples reconnect and rediscover the joy of spending time together.

In addition to focusing on personal and relational fulfillment, empty nesters can also find purpose and meaning through giving back to their communities. Volunteering, mentoring younger individuals, or getting involved in local organizations are all ways in which empty nesters can make a positive impact and find fulfillment outside of their roles as parents.

Ultimately, while the transition to empty nesthood may come with its challenges, it also offers a wealth of opportunities for growth, exploration, and reinvention. By embracing this new phase of life with an open mind and a sense of adventure, empty nesters can discover a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment that extends far beyond the confines of their empty nest.

Principles to Live By? Oh, Really? What Little Wonders?

Posted on by
Reply

truthholdingDo you ever wake up in the morning and ask yourself what events have or will have the most impact on your life whether today or in the future? Do you agree that some stories in our lives are like tiny ripples that do not carry much weight, while others are like large waves that hit harder, deeper, and with more impact? My story like your story is no different from a million others out there and it is no sadder, brighter, or glorious than that of someone else’s. Therefore, we all need to wake up and remind ourselves that it is just life and no matter what it (life) throws at you (us), it’s you… that ultimately sets the course of future events. Haha so what is the point? What am I trying to say here?

What is the story?

If you have been a reader of mine for any time, you know that my story is that much like a bag of mixed marbles. The more strange things that could happen will happen or the more marbles played the more different the results. Who said that anyway? Is that like Murphys Law? What may go wrong, will go wrong? After many difficult relationships (mostly cause of me) I spent many years as a single dad trying to figure out the who, what, when, and where of this single dad thing and trying to make my kids life as memorable as possible. WOW, that sucked! Actually, and while it may have sucked, I have had the opportunity to experience life as what life truly should be…fun, full of enrichment, love, and meaning.

Single Dad to Engaged Dad

Yes, and that’s right I have decided to take the next step in my life and marry the greatest woman that I have ever met. Not to mention that my kid is just one year ahead of her kid and they are like best friends. And, Yes… this is the woman of my dreams.  Needless to say and whether you’re in a relationship or going it alone you can benefit from what I have learned and the following the steps below in order to create your own healthy relationship(s).

betruthful

1) Be courageous…

…about realizing who you are. Many of us at some point decided that we would map out our lives—this could be as simple as where you’re going to live, how many children you will have, or what career you want now or in the future. This could also be encouraging or devastating to the point where you may not question whether it’s what you truly want or what life truly wanted for you. Therefore, when something unexpected happens that changes your life plans, shake it off, become vulnerable and encourage yourself to do more and then you can feel very more comfortable, brave, and ride those feelings (waves)because you may have just discovered what it is that you are truly in search of?

2) Be truthful…

…with yourself and others that you have contact with. Even though life hasn’t turned out the way you had planned or maybe it has, it does not mean that you have failed. There is no need to make excuses, judge yourself (others), or shy away from this truth. And YES… it’s okay to feel and hurt, as these are natural feelings and are a part of being honest with yourself. Accept what is and learn… it is what it is. The sooner you realize this the sooner you will be able to think clearly and take the next steps in the right direction with a positive mindset whether in a relationship or going it alone.

3) Be open…

…to an unusual life and to new understandings. There’s no point hanging on to what could’ve, should’ve, or would’ve been, because it will only make you (us) feel bitter and offended. With an open mind you can truly let new experiences into your life. You never know what exciting events may come your way, but that’s the beauty of it (watching waves whether peaceful or dangerous).

4) Be calm and kind…

…with yourself. Much like #2 and whether you believe what’s happened in your life is your fault or not, you must be gentle with and forgive yourself along with others.  It serves no one, especially not you, if you don’t “talk” to yourself or others encouragingly or lovingly. To create a life of purpose, we must first love ourselves then others, because only then can our actions come from the heart. And when your actions come from the heart, you will be able to see clearly, feel strong, and are sure of your choices.

5) Be trusting…

…of yourself and all others in the universe. All you can do is your best and go with the flow—and trust that your life is turning out as it should be. Going with the flow can be challenging, especially if you’re someone like me who likes to be in control (damn Leo’s). So remind yourself constantly that even when you try so hard to create a life that you want, the laws of nature may decide otherwise. And how you choose to respond to it is what matters most—that’s really what life’s all about anyway isn’t it?

truthandtrusting (2)

If you flow with the nature of life (waves), you will have the strength to handle everything that comes your way. I always wish that… I would have never heard of the saying, had I had known then what I know now… Why, well because if I hadn’t done what I did and met those people who I did, I wouldn’t be where I am today! Happy, satisfied and for once looking forward to more of what life has to throw my way only this time, as a family not as a single parent. How much more truth can that provide? Embracing a new relationship or riding/watching a new wave roll in can be downright scary but being courageous, truthful, open, calm, and trusting can help you roll in not crash into the beach. Now that summer has arrived get out there and catch a few new waves yourself and enjoy those memorable sunsets.

With Every Ending there is a NEW Beginning?

Posted on by
Reply

What is it they say? “With every beginning, there comes an end” or “with every ending new-beginningcomes a new beginning.” Just like I mentioned in a previous post “everything happens for a reason” or “it is what it is” I have to say that this so called all good things must come to an end also has to be true? Or is it? How do we know when things are coming to end then? What are the signs? Does this also apply to our relationships, education, career, etc.? Or is this saying just the cycle of life and products? Over the last week and if not the entire year, I have been asking myself this and many similar questions. Why? Well over the last year, I have started to pay greater attention to detail and the shelf life of many things including that of my relationships, career objectives, milk, groceries, vehicle, etc. Why if this saying isn’t true, do most things we purchase and consume have an expiatory date? It seems that YES, most things (if not all) have a beginning and an end? Or all good things must come to an end?

So how do we determine what exactly the beginning and/or end is? The obvious is we are born and then we die… YES? How about relationships or your career? If you are young or old you have probably noticed that, most relationships and your job, regardless of how you meet or the job you’re in all have trends. These trends usually go something like this… awesome beginning (honeymoon), an okay middle (comfort zone), and really bad endings (the dreaded unknown). In my life and regardless of whether in a relationship or career these trends seem to always go the same way but unlike the cycle of life (ending in death), I am still alive, kicking, and in the end have come out the other side as better person. I am a better father, a better man with the woman I love, and I am a better man in the job I am in. Does this then mean that we all should embrace change, new beginnings, and endings to things? Or is it just me? Do we need to give more chances to others, our partners, and career paths fostering and/or focusing more on the middle stage(s)?

uptown-girls

Let’s face it, the beginning of anything is downright scary just like my kid changing schools this year. On the flipside, the end is just as scary if not more! Starting something new or letting go of something you care about is extremely hard whether it is a relationship or your career. However, what I have learned over the years (especially raising my son, in relationships, and jobs) is that both beginnings and endings are a necessity of life, just as we are born and we die. In order for us to remain active, happy, and healthy, we must allow ourselves the opportunity for new beginnings in our relationships and jobs, just like we must allow ourselves the opportunity for endings, so we can create more beginnings. This my friends is what we must do because if nothing ever came to an end, nothing could ever begin. Without scary endings and new beginnings, I wouldn’t be the same person I am now just like I know you are. In fact, I couldn’t be happier at how things have turned out in my life with my son, my relationship, and career. Although I can’t say for sure how long I will be in this NEW middle part of my life (hopefully until I die), I can honestly say… For every ending, there is an even greater beginning. Don’t be afraid of endings and surely don’t let yourself be afraid of new beginnings.

Thoughts? If you have any, please feel free to leave your comments here, reach out to me online or in person, and/or through any of my other online mediums. Until next time my friends keep smiling, embrace those you’re with, do away with things stressing you out, and for heaven’s sake create some new beginnings already.

New Dating Relationships with Kids

Posted on by
2


Sexy-metetingIt has been awhile since I have written anything online and that is because like many of you, things have been moving along very rapidly in my life. As a single parent (all of you know this), I believe if someone offered to give me a few of their minutes or hours, I would be indebted to them for years to come which would hopefully slow things down or just give me a little extra time. However, I am sure at this point in my life things are not going to slow down anytime soon. Why? That is because I haven’t figured out a way to slow things down and/or no one is willing to give me any extra time. Oh ya, and after many years of being single I have finally found a woman that I am proud to call my girlfriend, which I spend a lot of my time with now. So what does that have to do with anything you ask? Well a ton! Now instead of working solely on raising my kid by myself, I am now working on raising my kid alongside that of another single parent. With that said, when you find someone you care about who seems to have some future potential for you, you are going to want to bring your children into the picture (this is where we recently were and where we are continuing to build our relationship around). Of course, you want your significant other to already know that you have children, which is why this was one of the first things we discussed on our first date. Otherwise, you may find a situation on your hands that cannot or will not add any value to a newly formed relationship. Not every man/woman is capable of accepting children that he or she perceives as belonging to another. Moreover, some men/women may be frightened of the responsibilities children represent. That is exactly why I waited on dating or getting involved because any negative feelings about children has/had to be high on the priority list. All people will have some reaction that may seem a bit odd, but that is not the same as having them say they hate kids and would never have them in their home.

The Importance of the Initial Meeting

 As I have learned over the last six months, kids are very smart regardless of their age. In fact, both of our kids figured out early on that we both had something going on long before we actually introduced them formally. Well, OK, maybe not initially, because we actually did a fantastic job at covering it up even the first time we meet. Do you ever run into random people while you are out in the community? That is exactly what my woman and I did in order to introduce the two kids, randomly ran into each other at a local mall for an afternoon lunch (hehe). The initial resistance was not there nor did we have to explain ourselves at that time. However, over our next few visits the kids started figuring things out by themselves. Therefore, I wanted to give everyone reading this a couple of suggestions (do not’s) for bringing two families together because eventually when your children find out they will surely know that your previous relationship is over and may find it difficult to visualize you with another man/woman.

  • Take a relationship slowly because you lower the risk of emotional backlash from your children as they adjust to your new life.
  • Do not include a new partner in too many of your family days at first. Make time for you and the kids even after you are officially together.
  • Do not spend your time focusing on becoming a family unit because you may  not be able to keep things in balance. You may be forced to skip some important stages of your relationship on the course toward greater involvement and commitment.
  • Do not have overnight visits until the children become comfortable with the viewpoint that your girlfriend/boyfriend is someone who may be here to stay.
  • Do not allow your children to feel threatened or fearful that they could lose you to this new suitor or that the new man/woman will change the rules of the family.

Don’t Rush In

What is it that they say? Fools don’t rush in or never get in a hurry to make another first-datemistake. At the same time, don’t let new opportunities pass you by or believe everything other people have to say. More times than not, you have gotten to this point of your life by making your own decisions whether they are/were good or bad. So, remember that you are on your way to building a completely new family configuration as a single parent with your kids and they, too, deserve your attention and your time while everyone works through the changes in their lives that a separation or divorce has brought. Also, remember that you don’t need to rush into anything… ever! You can take your time to allow everyone to get used to each other and for you to decide whether you really want to create a new family. If you have any doubts, there is nothing wrong with listening to your intuition and wait until either your feelings are resolved or you understand clearly that the relationship is not right for you. This maybe your last chance at a new and happy life much like it is mine. If important aspects are missing, wait for another situation to come along. Do not settle because you are lonely or think you will never have the right opportunity cause this could never be further from the truth. Pay attention to your children’s reactions to your new love, as they are a good indication of how things are really going. They often have their own way of sizing up a relationship, and may see something you do not. Keep in mind that you must constantly tell your children that you still love them and that no new relationship will change that, as my girlfriend is an expert in this category. Finally, tell them that you are all going to form a family and ask for their input if this is your ultimate desire, as it is mine. The more they feel a part of things the less frightened they will feel. You may be surprised because at this early stage of our relationship we surely are. If this is the right man/woman for you, your children may be as happy about things as you are… and won’t that make all the difference? As usual, I am glad you stopped by today and welcome all comments via any of my social networks. Until next time, remember to keep smiling and love the ones you’re with.

Do Simple “Experiences” Create the Most Long-Term “Memories”

Posted on by
2

memoryIs wondering why it is that most things we do personally or with our children have to be planned out? Do you ever find or catch yourself creating way to many lists for future endeavors, work, events, shopping, meals, tasks, etc., or better yet do you ever find yourself creating these same lists for your child(ren) future life? Why is it that we all have to plan so much? Is it me or were some of your earliest memories in life or as a child, experiences of things that were left unplanned? Or did you have to go to some fancy place or do something extraordinary in order to have a clear memory ingrained in your life long DNA?

As I continue to grow older and especially now as a parent (single parent), I am continually, asking myself questions such as these, as I continue to provide advice and guidance to my little one. In fact, me and my little guy get out and do a lot of things (experiences) that I truly believe help create (memories) that will last a life time. However and as I have said in previous posts, I believe that some of my own and my son’s best memories are those experiences that are as simple as throwing a ball, doing household chores, or reading together. As parents, I believe that we all have the ability to create positive and happy present day experiences in life that will turn into some of the most impressionable and future memories for our young ones all without having to be rich or attend events that we think are leaving long term memories entrenched into our little ones memory bank. Yes?

The fact is almost all the “experiences” that our children encounter daily, weekly, or monthly are helping our children create “memories” that will help them later in life as an adult. All too often, I see others preparing themselves and their little ones for what others want them to be, not what they want to be. We as individuals and parents have great control over our lives “yes” but at least let us use that power appropriately and not use it to create present undue stress or control over our children’s lives. Life is already difficult enough without the added pressure that we place on ourselves at home, work, or at school. Maybe and just maybe if we dumb things down a bit and enjoy more of the simple everyday “experiences,” we would remember many more past experiences that helped up produce some of our best “memories.”

memory-work

I know that there are a million and one ways we can all dumb things down but here are three things we can all do today that aren’t subject to unseen future events.

1) Money, trips, and expensive events are not the only things that we should need to do in order to have experience that turn into a long-term memory. Being extravagant is such a big misconception and perhaps one of the most common things I see daily. So, we all need to do a better job at enjoying present day experiences, as we don’t need to spend so much time and money dazzling ourselves and little ones. Instead, we all need to appreciate more the small windows of time we are given with each other and just simply enjoy ourselves and children unconditionally.

2) Rituals are perfect for creating experiences that turn into long-term memories. There are probably endless “experiences” you and/or your family does weekly, monthly, or yearly (i.e. holidays, birthdays, festivals, etc) that help you create lasting “memories.” Instead of waiting for these big events, how about creating new rituals “experiences” such as Friday night pizza, Saturday morning breakfast, or Sunday night wrap of the week to create more long-term “memories?”

3) Finally yet importantly, we all need to do a better job at reinforcing all the positive experiences in our everyday lives. My son and I do this almost every day. Instead of discussing with others the negative things that happened today, why don’t you remember the positive things more by simply discussing the positive “experiences” you had that will ultimately become lasting “memories, not the negative ones. This can be as simple as creating a scrapbook, using social media, or simply writing more positive “experiences” down, so you can train yourself, brain, and little ones to notice these positive experiences, so you can have more positive long-term “memories.”

memory-quote-2

Creating everyday “experiences” that turn into long-term “memories” are simple and super important in our lives, as well as our children and others we touch. By using positive reinforcements in your daily life, you will find that you are laying down tile that will last a lifetime, not just carpet that will eventually be destroyed. We all owe it to ourselves and little ones to lead with the good not follow with the bad. I can’t remember all those expensive or fancy things I did as a child but I do have a vivid memory of all those experiences as simple as building a camp, riding my bike, or just simply spending time with my parents, what says you? What experiences in the past do you remember most that you have preserved in your long-term memory bank? Feel free to reach out here, personally, or any of my other social sites with your feedback, as I have said before… it takes an army, not just a team to accomplish more. Otherwise, thanks for stopping by and until next time… KEEP SMILING

What are you creating in Life, LESSONs or RECIPES?

Posted on by
4

Do you ever wake up in the morning and wonder and/or think about the lessons others have taught you in life? If so, how have the lessons you learned at a young or older age continuing to influence your life so far? As with most things happening or have happened in my own life, I continually find myself reflecting back to things others have taught me most mornings, as these lessons are now helping me teach my own child lessons of his own. On that note, I recently came across a book published last year by the Andersons who are teachers in Michigan titled “Liam’s Fishing Lesson With Grandpa: Life Lessons of Liam and Lila,” that reminds me about some of the important life lessons we are taught but may or may not remember early in life. Needless to say, with any of my posts, there is nothing more that I love to do further than to point readers like you in the direction of other works, writings, and social posts so, you “like me” can continue to teach others (especially our children) about the true lessons of life.

lessons-about-life

Additionally, as I continue to build my life around the lessons I have learned, I am also continuing to build this site with quality content and reviews. This is exactly what the Anderson’s book does and represents. The couples book is fictional and tells a real-life story about a young boy who one day decides he would like to go fishing with his grandpa in hopes of reeling in that big catch, which I believe we all are doing every day of our lives whether we are fishing or not… Hoping to reel in that big catch huh? Of course and with any adventure or lesson of life it isn’t always about the result. Rather and wouldn’t you agree that the lesson(s) we learn along the way is/are about… along the way, which this story demonstrates so well by using science, imagination, and illustrations to teach the little ones who at some point may or may not want to look back on the lessons others have taught them in order to teach others. Let us just hope they do for now. Furthermore, this story solidifies the lessons learned with a real life ecology (diagram) project, which the authors also made available in video format via YouTube, which of course… you can Do-It-Yourself (DIY)… Good stuff!

Nonetheless, with any story or lesson in life, they all must come to end or do they? Whether you decide to continue the adventure today by reading this fascinating book with your little ones (wouldn’t recommend it for those under 8) or end the lesson of any other day… that choice is completely up to you. However, remember if you continue the story, the food will still be there for you to eat later, and if you decide to end the lesson or story you need to still fire up that grill to cook the lesson. Or, in other words, fire up your imagination this weekend or any other week/weekend for that matter in order to create more long-term lessons and memories. Oh ya, that reminds me if you decide to read this story (you and your little ones 8+) the authors also leave you with a recipe at the end, which Liam uses to prepare that big one caught earlier in the day. What a perfect way to end a lesson or story especially now that we are well into the heat of summer. What do you think? Are you creating life lessons that your or other children can build upon or look back at or are you just simply creating a lesson to make a meal for that day? Whatever you are doing in life, I hope this story (get the book already) and post helps you realize what roles you and I need to play in order to create additional lessons and memories for ourselves and others we touch along the way.

life-lessons-teaching-children

As with any/all of my posts, I would love to hear your thoughts and or opinions. Not to mention, if you want to connect further with the authors of this book do so via their Facebook page or connecting further with me on any of my/your social sites. Thanks again for stopping by and as usual until next time… KEEP SMILING  ╍●‿●╍

Do we EVER really find what it is we are looking FOR?

Posted on by
Reply

Here you have it: People who know what they are looking for in life are the ones who actually make an effort to figure out what they really want in their life. Say what? In other words, do you find yourself genuinely satisfied or dissatisfied with yourself, income, home, and/or relationship if you’re in one? Even if you are happy with these things, are you consistently finding yourself looking for something better whether it is new landscaping inside or outside your house, a new recipe, job, car, friends, etc.? Do you find that you spend entirely too much time in your life trying to keep up with others, which cuts into your own happiness? I ask again… do you/we ever really find what it is we are looking for in life?

Image

I will be the first to tell you that are own human nature does not allow us to be content and if you are then lying to yourself, you’re not pushing yourself hard enough to get more, or you just might be content with the status quo. But how can anyone possibly be content with the status quo? Seriously? I’m not saying that there is not a way to be content or people cannot be satisfied in life with what they have, instead I’m saying that most of us blame and/or pretend that other people in our lives are the ones that cause us to be dissatisfied. Make since? Does dissatisfaction actually help create satisfaction? Or does unhappiness actually help create happiness?

“Happiness is not a goal…it’s a by-product of a life well lived.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

Over the years, I have learned that satisfaction, happiness, or finding what it is we are really looking for is in fact the by-product of living well just like Eleanor Roosevelt stated. We all have the right to be happy and we are the only ones getting in our own way of being satisfied or finding what we are truly looking for. As I continue to age, I am continuing to find what I am truly looking for in life, as my dissatisfaction with many things has indeed helped me to develop, improve, build, and accomplish many more things that I necessarily would not have. In other words and in as simple of a form I can state is that my dissatisfaction in life has indeed created satisfaction in my life. You?

Image

So, there you have it. Will you ever find what it is that you are looking for? Will you always be dissatisfied with the decisions you make/made or will you actually find what it is you are looking for and become satisfied with the things you do have? You graduated from school, got the degree or degrees, found the job, house, friends, and partner you desired. You have indeed found what you are looking for in life, so stop trying to tell yourself that you have not! Instead of creating doubt or unhappiness today, start creating satisfaction and happiness by embracing the things that you do have in your life (especially our children), as this simple suggestion will not only brighten your own outlook on life but also the outlook others have on their our lives. What is it they say? Happiness or unhappiness is contagious, so let’s all do a better job at transmitting happiness in our own lives, thus creating happiness in others. As always and with any of my articles, I hope you enjoyed it, look forward to your opinions here or on any of my other social sites, and your help spreading this or any of my other works with others. Moreover, until next time, and like always remember to KEEP SMILING, as it really does look good on you (>‿◠)✌

CHANGE is the One Thing We Can ALWAYS Count On

Posted on by
1

ChangesEven though there are a million and one ways to describe a happy family there is not a universal way to describe the change(s) you and/or your family will go through. In fact, the one thing that is constant in our lives and that we all can be sure of is that… things will change. Yes, this may mean things will change for the better or they might change for the worse, as more and more people struggle to balance life, work, and the needs of their family and/or lives.

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. Charles Darwin (1809-1882) English Naturalist

Ever since I was a young boy, I have never been afraid of change. Whether it was going to school, meeting new people, or going to new places I have embraced the changing landscape of my life, which is true to this very moment. However, it wasn’t until yesterday (my niece inspired me to think about this in her Facebook post) that I truly realized that change in my life is the one thing I count on and really look forward to the most. Even though my changing life has had both positive and negative aspects to it, for the most part it has been the negative aspects that have inspired me the most to embrace change further. Yes, I did say negative, since if I never had a negative experience I would have never moved from Michigan to Florida, gotten married/divorced, earned my Bachelor, Masters, or Doctorate, or even became a “Single Dad!”

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

Why then if “change is the law of life,” are so many people often frightened of change? Why don’t more people embrace changes in things such as technology, their lives, careers, or their family structure? Instead of thinking of change as a negative why, don’t we start to use the negative aspects of change as positive motivations for additional change? If you are anything like me you shouldn’t be afraid of change or failing (trust me it as it seems I have failed more than anyone I know) nor should you value other people’s opinions of change more than your own opinion of change. Don’t look at your disappointments in life as negative aspects of change but rather positive motivations for your long-term success(es).

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British politician.

Whether you are single, a cohesive family unit, or even a single parent if you want to be happier why don’t you give change a chance when it comes to advancing yourself, career, or raising healthy/happy children? As a single dad myself, I now realize this more than ever, as change has been the one thing constant enough in my life to help me build additional self-confidence, relationships, and my career even though these things may not had been the things I had always dreamed of. In order to further inspire myself and perhaps you through additional change here are a few things I do/have done over my life to embrace change.

1. Realize that your career and life will consistently change- The economy, people, and your career will change. Instead of feeling sorry about the situation, embrace it and adjust yourself to these changes.
2. Relieve your past experiences- Whether you are looking at positive or negative changes try to mold your future around them. Considering both positive and negative changes in your life will help you avoid these same changes later in life (perhaps this is more easily said then done?)
3. Take note of both positive and negative changes- Perhaps the best thing to do with anything or in this case, change in life is to write them down (i.e. positives and negatives). This should be as easy as starting or maintaining a journal or better yet with the advent of social media use Twitter, Facebook, or anyone of the other social sites to track your changes in your career or family. Remember documenting something in better than nothing in this aspect.

change-egnahc

Everyone whether you are young or old in a relationship or going it alone deserves to live a strong, happy, healthy, and successful life. If you identify both negative and positive changes in your past, perhaps you can do more to shape your future, while molding these changes into motivation that will help you change yourself or others you touch additionally. Remember if you have children to share with them not only the positive changes in your life but also the negative changes, as this also gives are beloved little ones the ammunition they will also need to embrace both the positive and negative changes in their own futures. As with any/all articles I write I would love your thoughts and/or your sharing/connecting further of this article on any of my/your social sites. Thanks again for stopping by and as usual until next time… KEEP SMILING ≧✯◡✯≦✌

Stop Trying to be so MAGICAL & Just Relax

Posted on by
1

magic-kidJust stop it already! That is what I keep saying to myself anyway. Two weeks ago, I wrote an article on saying no more often to our children and it is something that I am continuing to make ends with in regards to raising a kid that is not spoiled beyond belief. Within this timeframe, I have also been asking myself why it is and more importantly, why it is I continue to catch myself saying yes, and trying to make my kids life so magical.

While I spend most of my time as a contractor for FedEx now a days, in the past I have been (still involved but not nearly as much) a blogger, consultant, teacher, and mentor that helped(s) to inspire others, their businesses, families, and children. Through these interactions and the continued evolution in my own life, I have had a front row seat to some good and bad behaviors others are and/or have exhibited in their own personal and business lives. These behaviors regardless of whether they are good and bad have allowed my own personal and business life to evolve. More importantly, I am continually learning that in business and life we do not need to hold some sort of magical halo over others and especially our children (i.e. trying to create some sort of MAGICAL world), as this usually doesn’t allow others (especially children) the opportunity to thrive or gain independence just like saying yes so often. Does that make since?

“We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.” ― J.K. Rowling

As my time passes at becoming a better parent, my own parenting model also continues to take shape. What I mean most by that is what I (we) need to do more of is focus on the little things in our lives and not on all those magical moments others would lead you to believe are so important. I remember growing up in a world that was less connected online and more connected in real life. Not that it’s bad to be connected through social media but let us not use this as a median to compare ourselves with others all while trying to outduel each other. Additionally and as great as sites such as Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, etc are we should not let these and other social sites dictate to our young ones that there is some magic in doing things in excess to create some sort of magical childhood. Instead (this is especially important in a business acumen) let us get back to basics. Let us all do a better job at stretching our own child(ren’s) imaginations alongside ourselves by laying on the couch, taking a walk, or just sitting next to your little one(s) while you share a giggle or two. This my friends would be getting back to basics in a business since, while helping to create a more magically childhood for our children, not to mention relieving the stress of trying to keep up with the so called Benjamin’s (i.e. others on your friends list that consistently are trying to outduel everyone else on their friends list).

“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

magical-childhood

Long story short and what I am trying to say here is whether you are going it alone or in a relationship with another person while trying to raise a little one or ones remember that us parents can easily make our child’s growing up magical by being simple. We do not have to take continuous vacations, throw extravagant parties, or take our kids places often. However, what we all should do a better job at is focusing on creating a magical childhood for a kids by simply being there for them, talking to them when times are tough, and simply hanging out. There are an excessive amount of parents out there that don’t even make an attempt to spend time with their children, even call them, or provide any type of support (financial or mental). Do not be one of those parents and simply take the time today, tomorrow, or the next day to spend a few minutes enjoying your child or children because time goes by way to fast for us not to. Don’t be like some of those other parents out there that overdue everything, simply do something, just a little something to create a real magical childhood for your child(ren). Until next time my friends have fun, creating real magical moments not made up ones. Oh ya and don’t forget to KEEP SMILING (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Why Do We Need to Say NO Anyway?

Posted on by
Reply

No!

Have you ever asked yourself what the true meaning of NO is? According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, they define no as “a negative answer or reply to a question, request, or offer.” Doesn’t this definition seem pretty simple and straight forward? Why then do most people (especially parents) have such a tough time saying no to certain situations, others, and most importantly to their kids? Let’s face it saying no is probably one of the hardest things to say because most of us don’t want to hear it ourselves or be considered the bad guy especially when it comes to parenting our children, yes?

If you have been a reader or follower of mine for any length of time, you know that for as many years as I can remember (or you have read) I have been involved in sales/service throughout my career. With that comes a lot of NO’s. I have heard no told to me in just about every situation. The good… I no longer let a no get me down. The bad… I’m not completely sure that I am a good teacher to my kid in the no category, as I find myself saying “yes” to him quit often. Why is this? Why can I take a no but not dish out enough no’s in the parenting arena? Well the only way I figure I can combat my own weaknesses with the word no is to actually put into writing a couple ways to use no in a positive manner to actually help myself (more importantly) my kid grow up with a better idea of what no can lead to in the future for himself.

1) Honesty is the Best Method– I often hear other parents being talked into different items at different stores by their children even if they know they can’t afford it. Even if it’s a pack of gum or candy bar, more of us need to do a better job explaining to our children that even an extra dollar spent isn’t/wasn’t in the budget. A little honesty in saying no can/should go a long way and I would like to believe later in life my kid (yours too) should be more equipped to purchase things that he/they really need, not things he/they merely want. Be honest with them now and they will be honest with themselves and us later.

2) Find Replacement Words (Phrases) – Who doesn’t want to use other words that mean the same thing? Using alternative words or phrases for a simple no is a good way to mix things up, yes? We just mentioned that honesty with our children goes a long way perhaps instead of consistently saying no let us try to use more phrases like “maybe another time,” “let’s think about it,” or a simple as “not today!” These phrases are not a clear-cut no and give all us parents different ways to say no without be dishonest.

3) Keep It Simple Stupid (K.I.S.S.) – One of my favorite phrases throughout my sales career has always been KISS. This basically means that the more you talk the less people are going or be willing to buy. Why not use this same approach with our children when saying no? Instead of telling our kids no over and over again or using lengthy explanations, why don’t we try shorter explanations like “it is not okay to take the snack, controller, or toy away from that kid,” then simply give your kid an alternative like another snack, controller, or toy. This eliminates the use of no and replaces it an alternative explanation… KISS!

No-Alternative

Saying no to anyone, especially our children is hard. However, most people and more importantly children need to hear it and if they don’t then more times than not you’ll end up with a spoiled rotten brat, friend, or relative. I know this is a work in progress for my little family but I will continue to use my own strategies suggested earlier as well as others y’all might suggest. Until next time, thanks for stopping by and remember to keep smiling regardless of the circumstance.