Tag Archives: mental-illness

After TMS: The Finish Line Became a New Starting Point

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On September 16, 2026, I completed my 36th and final TMS session.

After weeks of treatments, early-morning walks, difficult days, small victories and honest reflection, I reached the finish line. More importantly, I reached it feeling like my depression had finally entered remission.

I use the word “remission” carefully. Mental health recovery does not come with guarantees, and I cannot predict what the months ahead will bring. But today, I feel better. I am thinking more clearly, laughing again and returning to parts of life that depression had slowly pushed into the background.

That deserves to be celebrated.

But finishing TMS also taught me something important: completing treatment is not the end of the journey. It is the beginning of learning how to live again with intention.

Bedside table with sneakers, pill organizer, water, sleep mask, and journal
A sunlit bedside table gathers everyday essentials for sleep, wellness, and a fresh start.

TMS Did Not Make Life Perfect

My TMS journey took place during a complicated season of life.

I lost Dolly, my dog of 17 years. I watched people I love struggle with their own emotions. I dealt with health problems, disrupted sleep and the uncertainty surrounding my return to work. Some days I felt strong. Other days, simply completing my treatment session was the victory.

TMS did not remove grief, stress or responsibility from my life. What it appeared to do was help create enough space for me to face those things without being completely overwhelmed by depression.

That distinction matters.

Recovery does not mean that nothing hurts anymore. It means the pain no longer controls every thought, decision and moment of the day. It means being able to experience a difficult event without automatically losing yourself inside it.

For me, progress began showing up in ordinary moments.

I started walking again. I made breakfast. I worked out. I prepared lunch. I spent time with my family. I took a trip to Las Vegas to celebrate my son Aidan’s 21st birthday and walked nearly 10 miles on some days.

None of those things sound extraordinary on their own. But when you have experienced depression, returning to ordinary life can feel extraordinary.

Returning to Work Without Trying to Prove Everything

Just two days after completing TMS, I prepared to return to work following an extended medical leave.

Part of me wanted to come back at full speed and prove that I was completely healed. But recovery is not something we prove through exhaustion. I do not need to make up for every difficult day by pushing myself beyond reasonable limits.

The better goal is consistency.

That means showing up, doing the work in front of me and allowing myself time to adjust. It means recognizing that returning to work is another step forward not a test of whether treatment “worked.”

This lesson applies beyond mental health. Whenever we recover from an illness, loss, financial setback or major disruption, there can be pressure to reclaim everything immediately. But sustainable progress usually happens through structure, patience and small decisions repeated over time.

My Routine Is Part of My Recovery

During treatment, I learned how much I benefit from structure. When I have too much unplanned time, my thoughts can begin racing. When my day has purpose, movement and manageable goals, I generally function better.

My post-TMS routine does not need to be complicated. It can begin with a few basic commitments:

  • Maintain a consistent sleep and wake schedule.
  • Use my CPAP and continue paying attention to sleep quality.
  • Walk or exercise regularly without treating every workout like a test.
  • Eat regular meals and stay hydrated.
  • Take medications only as prescribed and discuss concerns with my healthcare providers.
  • Keep follow-up appointments even when I am feeling well.
  • Pay attention to changes in mood, sleep, energy, impulsivity or anxiety.
  • Stay connected with my wife, family and trusted friends.
  • Continue writing honestly about the journey.

The National Institute of Mental Health recommends maintaining routines for sleep, meals and physical activity while staying connected to trusted people. For people living with bipolar disorder, it also emphasizes ongoing treatment, regular appointments and tracking changes in mood.

These habits are not replacements for professional care. They are ways to support the care I am already receiving.

Remission Is Not Permission to Stop Paying Attention

Feeling better can create its own temptation: the belief that continued treatment, medication management or follow-up care is no longer necessary.

That is a conversation for a qualified medical professional, not a decision to make alone.

Because I live with bipolar disorder, depression, ADHD, PTSD and anxiety, I know that changes in sleep, energy or behavior deserve attention. Feeling productive and energetic may be a sign of improvement, but dramatic changes such as needing much less sleep, racing thoughts, unusual irritability or impulsive decisions should not simply be dismissed as having a few great days.

The goal is not to live in fear of another episode. The goal is to know myself well enough to recognize meaningful changes early and ask for help when I need it.

Tracking a few daily indicators may help:

  • Hours and quality of sleep
  • Overall mood
  • Energy level
  • Anxiety
  • Exercise or movement
  • Medication consistency
  • Any unusual changes noticed by family

This is not about obsessing over every emotion. Everyone has good and bad days. It is about looking for patterns.

Glowing winding path through blue hills toward a sunrise
A sunlit bedside table gathers everyday essentials for sleep, wellness, and a fresh start.

One Step Forward

My “One Step Forward” campaign on Instagram began as a reminder that progress does not have to be dramatic to matter.

That message feels even more meaningful now.

Finishing TMS was a major step. Returning to work was another. But the steps that sustain recovery may be much smaller: taking a walk, getting enough sleep, eating breakfast, attending an appointment or telling someone when I am struggling.

I do not know exactly what the future holds. None of us do. What I know is that I feel hopeful again and hope is something I refuse to take for granted.

My depression may be in remission, but my commitment to my health continues.

Treatment helped me reach this point. Routine, support, follow-up care and self-awareness can help me protect the progress I have made.

Health is not separate from wealth. It is the foundation that allows us to work, create, invest, connect and enjoy the life we are trying to build.

Today, I am not promising perfection. I am choosing consistency.

One walk. One workday. One healthy decision. One honest conversation.

One step forward.

Author’s note: This article reflects my personal experience and is intended for general education and encouragement. TMS outcomes and mental health needs vary by individual. It is not medical advice and should not be used to start, stop or change treatment or medication. Speak with a qualified healthcare professional about your personal care. If you are in crisis or experiencing thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988 in the United States.

Sources: National Institute of Mental Health: Depression and National Institute of Mental Health: Bipolar Disorder.

High-Functioning Depression: What to Look For?

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Depression is often portrayed as visible sadness, emotional breakdowns, or an inability to function. In reality, many people experiencing depression continue to show up to work, care for their families, and meet daily obligations, while silently struggling. These “high-functioning” or subtle forms of depression frequently go unnoticed by others and, just as often, by the individuals experiencing them.

Mental health professionals emphasize that depression does not always announce itself clearly. It can surface through physical symptoms, behavioral changes, or shifts in thinking that are easy to dismiss as stress, burnout, or personality traits. Recognizing these overlooked signals is a critical first step toward seeking support and preventing symptoms from worsening.

Below is a practical reference list of commonly missed signs of depression. Experiencing one or two does not automatically indicate depression, but persistent patterns especially over several weeks should not be ignored.

Commonly Missed Signs of Depression

  1. Chronic Fatigue Despite Adequate Rest
    Feeling consistently drained, even after sleeping, can be a sign of emotional exhaustion rather than physical tiredness.
  2. Loss of Interest in Previously Enjoyable Activities
    Hobbies, social events, or passions may begin to feel like obligations rather than sources of enjoyment.
  3. Increased Irritability or Short Temper
    Depression does not always appear as sadness; it can manifest as frustration, impatience, or anger.
  4. Changes in Appetite or Weight
    Eating significantly more or less than usual without a conscious goal can signal emotional distress.
  5. Difficulty Concentrating or Making Decisions
    Persistent “brain fog,” forgetfulness, or indecisiveness may reflect cognitive effects of depression.
  6. Withdrawing Socially While Remaining Busy
    Staying productive but avoiding meaningful conversations or relationships can be a coping mechanism.
  7. Physical Complaints With No Clear Medical Cause
    Headaches, stomach issues, or unexplained aches are frequently linked to untreated depression.
  8. Overworking or Constant Busyness
    Using work or productivity to avoid emotions is a common but often overlooked warning sign.
  9. Feelings of Hopelessness or Emotional Numbness
    A sense that things will not improve or feeling nothing at all can be more concerning than sadness itself.
  10. Sleep Changes
    Insomnia, frequent waking, or sleeping excessively are among the most common symptoms of depression.
  11. Persistent Self-Criticism or Guilt
    An ongoing internal narrative of failure or inadequacy can quietly erode mental well-being.
  12. Relying More Heavily on Alcohol or Substances
    Increased use to relax, sleep, or cope emotionally may indicate underlying distress.

When to Seek Support

If several of these signs resonate and have been present most days for two weeks or longer, it may be time to reach out for help. Depression is not a personal weakness or a failure of resilience, it is a medical condition that responds to treatment, support, and understanding.

Talking with a trusted person, scheduling an appointment with a healthcare provider, or contacting a mental health professional can be meaningful first steps. Early recognition often leads to better outcomes and prevents prolonged suffering.

Mental health challenges are common, but suffering in silence does not have to be. Awareness both personal and collective remains one of the most powerful tools for improving mental well-being.